Expectation vs Reality

Exploring the Connection Between America’s Success & Online Manifestation Ideology

You might not be aware, but I was born in England and later spent four years growing up in Botswana before calling the United States my home.

When my family and I emigrated, I was still quite young. As an only child, I found myself in a new land, experiencing yet another major upheaval in my life.

My intention with this editorial is to delve into the intersection between the concept of success in relation to the idea of success in the eyes of the American Dream and the present (2019-2024) online ideology surrounding manifestation and the law of attraction.

My hope is to share my perspective as someone who understood the essence of the American Dream long before arriving on American soil.

The idea of the American dream has deeply ingrained itself in the minds of people worldwide, serving as a driving force in economic growth. Success stands as the pinnacle of achievement, resonating throughout our culture and consistently appearing throughout our conversations, media, and personal aspirations.

Success is an elusive and highly coveted emotion—a dream, a goal, a destination that we often pursue relentlessly. However, amidst this pursuit, we occasionally overlook the true nature of this all-encompassing concept.

So, I invite you to take a moment to reflect. What does success actually mean to you?

As someone deeply passionate about personal development, healing, and growth, this is a question I ponder frequently. Through deep introspection, evaluation, and life experience my beliefs surrounding success have changed drastically.

What was once packaged, sold, and later internalized is now under further examination. I’m exploring how the movies you watch, the environment you grew up in, the media you consume, and the beliefs shaped by your familial and grade school experiences all contribute to your current perceptions of success.

Why does it matter what you believe about success?

Well, if you’re striving for something that isn’t truly authentic to you, you’ve essentially purchased a one-way ticket to disappointment and a lack of fulfillment. Maybe not immediately, but eventually, when the shine of your ideal reality wears off. When the house you once coveted becomes just four walls, or when you finally notice the flaws in the luxury car you dreamed about for ages.

When we chase markers of success that have been programmed by societal standards, we often abandon our true selves in the pursuit of a dream of success that resembles a mirage in the desert rather than a lifelong feeling of fulfillment.

Now, let’s delve deeper.

Pause for a moment and ask yourself, what are you looking for when it comes to success? Do you believe it will make you feel better? Happier? More fulfilled and stress-free? Perhaps it’s about having your needs met, such as group acceptance or the feeling of being ‘chosen’ or ‘worthy’? Maybe the meaning of success has been preordained for you since birth? Only you can answer these questions, so take a moment and ask yourself: What intangible benefits do I gain from achieving this marker of success?

Sometimes, you may ‘just’ want something for no particular reason, but I encourage you to dig deeper. You are a multifaceted and complex human being. Explore your reasoning and discover the root of your desires to further ebay your authenticity.

Expectations – The Fantasy

The online consensus is in: Dulul (delusional thinking) is the solution… at least for now. This trend can quickly have you forgoing reality altogether and embracing ‘delusional thinking‘ to the max in hopes of maximum results.

As someone who is well-versed in the law of attraction and manifestation ideology, I understand this line of thinking very well. But I would like to share a complete picture with you that is often missed when watching a 15-second catchy video.

The opposite of delusional thinking is conscious awareness. When you find yourself in an environment that is a far cry from your desired one, it’s easy to slip away into the fantasy that can be projected from your mind. And to a certain extent, you should focus on your ideal outcome and not get hung up on present circumstances. But just like most things, when out of balance and in extreme quantities, we can experience unforeseen consequences.

As harsh as your current reality may be, your awareness of your present circumstances gives you the ability to make informed and strategic decisions to create long-lasting and sustainable change throughout your life.

“Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes. It enables you to keep growing.” – Lawrence Bossidy

(Explore more self-awareness quote here)

If self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes, then delusional thinking can very well have you unconsciously continuing to make mistakes that only increase the difficulty of rectifying your reality later down the line, making decisions that only contribute to the harsh reality instead of helping you move out of them. Delusional thinking can result in short-term relief that comes with the long-term consequences resulting from neglecting personal responsibility.

May get you there, but can it keep you there?

Short-term success, long-term consequences

With the western view of success, it also comes with a sense of urgency. A need to achieve success, get rich, get in a relationship, lose weight, get clear skin, blow up on social media, and all of it needs to happen FAST.

Shortcuts, secrets, hacks, blueprints all promise you the quickest path to success… But at what cost?

Let’s look at two manifestation story examples. First, we have person A (Ashley). Ashley wants to grow on social media and hopes to start a business in the future as well. Person B (Bailey) also wants the same thing and decides to embrace delusional thinking.

Ashley works hard, learns, and studies social media growth, focusing on consistency and improving over time.

Bailey acts as if and shows up on social media multiple times a day, waiting for one of her posts to go viral.

‘Success’ can be achieved in multiple ways, and both people achieve their desires. But person A has not only reached her goal but has the conscious awareness of what actions, strategies, and infrastructure were needed to get there and ultimately keep her there because her awareness, ability to be patient, and plan are the skills needed to sustain her growth. Not just get it but keep it.

Bailey, on the other hand, had her viral moment; her plan of delusional thinking worked, but does she have the insights to understand why her video went viral, the ability to systematically replicate it, and the knowledge to sustain and leverage her growth? Delusional thinking in this example is like skipping past several video game levels and having trouble continuing further. When we circumvent the not-so-glamorous part of growth, and life, it will sooner or later catch up, and there will come a time where delulu is no longer the solulu, and you have to make hard real-life decisions.

The reality – manifesting side effects

I’ve discussed this privately with some close friends regarding manifestation and how there is always a sobering truth that comes with it.

Yes, you can get most things you want out of this life, but there is often a cost or another side of the coin, so to speak. This could involve confronting the financial implications of a new car or lease if you didn’t take the time to plan and budget out expenses before signing. It also includes dealing with conflicts that happen in all interpersonal relationships, which you never expected to happen with your dream person. Or perhaps realizing the sacrifices and opportunity costs of focusing all of your time and attention on one thing – success – and what you may have foregone in other aspects of life.

Positive thinking is of great importance, but as adults living in the real world, we are sometimes faced with some harsh truths. The beauty of it all is that when you can find a balance, you can circumvent many of these pitfalls beforehand. This is why making decisions with tact, forward thinking, weighing up the pros and cons, and looking at the less glamorous aspects beforehand can help you make sound decisions that will serve you long after the instant gratification has worn off.

Developing skills like patience, delayed gratification, forward thinking may not bring quick and rapid success instantly, but can set your future up for long-term fulfillment. The more we know ourselves and do the inner work and introspection to understand our wants and desires, create sustainable action plans to achieve them, and remain flexible and optimistic along the way, we can avoid many of the societal traps that can very well be avoided with conscious awareness.